Moving Beyond Fear

Mind Tornadoes – Overcoming Fear With Awareness

I have lived in a constant state of fear. I’m thinking specifically of a time when I lost my job. The anxiety this created, along with health concerns that arose, left me in a place where there seemed to be no answers. In those days, fear-filled thoughts began the moment I awoke. I called them the “what ifs”: “what if this happened, what if that didn’t happen”. I lived in a constant state of fear and worry about the unknown. I liken that type of thinking to a mind tornado. Worry and fear-filled thoughts would take me into this dark whirlwind where I would reside all day. Those thoughts interrupted my ability to perform even simple tasks, not to mention the toll they took on me physically.

Discovering that I had the ability to observe my thoughts was a magnificent breakthrough for moving beyond fear. Like the discovery of a mad scientist and his super-duper weather machine I learned to temper the tornado of “what ifs”. I learned that you can actually decide what to think about. I had a choice! Eureka! I decide what meaning to give to any thought that surfaces, at any given time. Wow!

Learning to become more of an observer of thoughts meant I had to become aware of where my thoughts were directing me. In order to shift my thinking I first needed to define what fear means to me. I became aware that fear is the place we all go in our mind that keeps us immobilized or stuck. Fear begins with a thought from some past conditioning. It’s interesting how easily the mind will dwell on and manufacture seriously unpleasant feelings of apprehension. When we become aware that this is occurring we will notice it’s our way of attempting to control an outcome to an event or situation in our life that hasn’t happened yet. In a really insane way we think if we stress, worry and fret it will have some effect on the end game.

Regrets about our past or stressing about what has not yet transpired in the future take us out of the present moment. But the present is the only place where we can actually affect or shift our current situation, event or challenge. Think about this for a moment. Whether we fear the worse and the best happens, or we fear the worst and the worst actually happens, either way we’re expending the same amount of energy remaining in a negative emotional state. And since thoughts become things, the more time and energy we invest in fearful images of the future, the more likely we are to create that result.

What would it look like to spend your energy in the here and now leaving the past and future out of the equation?

Here are a few tools that helped me to move beyond fear in some extremely challenging times. They are fairly easy to put into practice. Give them a whirl and share your results in the comments.

1. Change your life motto. Create a motto or affirmation to remind you that when you get stuck in fearful thoughts, you do have a choice. “If I take meaningful action in the present moment, the future will take care of itself.”

2. You have a choice experiment: I challenge you to think of something that you would dread or fear. Do you have that thought? Now hold that thought in your mind for a moment. Now I would like you to ADD a joyful thought while holding the dreadful or fearful one simultaneously. Were you able to hold both thoughts at the same time? The experiment proves that you have the ability to choose what you think about. More importantly you get to choose where your thoughts take you each and every day.

3. Don’t believe everything you think. Many people mistake their thoughts for reality. Fearful thoughts are just one possible (and very limiting) way of reacting to a stressful situation. Train yourself to question your thoughts: “Is this thought reality in the present moment?”

4. Become a practiced observer of your thoughts. Your awareness drives change. Become an observer of your thoughts from the moment you open your eyes in the morning and throughout your day. Set the intention that you will notice where your thoughts are taking you. Just listen to them. Yes, they have a voice.

5. Refocus your attention to the present. Becoming a keen observer of your thoughts gives you the power to make healthy choices in your life. If you notice a mind tornado starting to take over your thoughts you can refocus your attention to the present moment. For me, when I notice the gusts of a mind tornado kicking up, I choose to refocus my attention to anything in my present reality, such as the tree outside the window, the chirping bird singing as I work or the hands that are typing a report right at the moment. Consciously choosing the present takes me to the only place I am right now. Focus on the moment of doing or being.

6. Set your intention for the day. Consciously work the plan for your day in each moment. Set the tone for your day by writing affirmations about the kind of day you intend to have. Repeat your intentions out loud, until you believe it.

If you practice daily you will soon realize just how empowered you are when it comes to fear. The goal is to create thoughts and actions that serve your best interest. You have a choice. When you spring into action in the present the future takes care of itself.

What tools work for you when mind tornadoes of fear come howling around? Leave a comment or question below!

The First Step in Overcoming The Fear Of…

By DK Brainard

Fear is the root of all negative emotions. Whether it’s fear of failure, fear of success, fear of other people, fear of looking foolish, or fear of dying, some kind of fear underlies all of our self-limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors.

In the coming weeks, we’re going to share with you some powerful, specific practices and perspectives that will help you move beyond fear and create more of the life you desire.

But let’s start with the single most important technique – and one that you can do any time and anywhere in just a minute or two.

Name your fear.

“What?” You might be saying. “That’s it?! How is that going to help?”

You see, the main reason fear has power over us is because it resides in the primal levels of the brain and mind, in the deep, dark unconscious places that we don’t like to – or don’t know how to – access.

From this hidden place beneath the surface of our conscious awareness, fear sends its tendrils up into the mind. These are often disguised as worry, anger, anxiety, regret, disappointment, hopelessness. But if we look closer at each of these emotional states, we find that they are based in a deeper fear.

If you knew that you were completely powerful to direct every element of your life and you also knew that the world was a friendly place where everything and everyone in it was conspiring to help you reach your goals, would you still need to worry about the future? Of course not! You’d be free to do what felt right to you, knowing that whatever happened next would be happening for your own good.

So all worries about the future are based in a deeper fear. The way you and I experience this fear might be very different, but it’s basically the same thing. Maybe you’re afraid that your health will get worse. Maybe I’m afraid that if I follow my heart and pursue my artistic goals, I won’t be able to provide for my family. Either way, we are both projecting our deeper fears onto an imaginary future timeline.

We’re going to share specific, powerful techniques for helping you move beyond the fears that create all of those negative emotions, but for now let’s start at the beginning.

Naming your fears automatically begins to reduce the grip they have on you. Because naming your fears brings them out into the open. Once you can see the fear for what it really is, you have choices you didn’t have a moment ago. Maybe you need to seek some professional help, go see a doctor or alternative therapist, hire an accountant or lawyer. Maybe you realize, “I can handle this on my own.”

Notice I’m not telling you that naming your fears will make them go away. But that’s not the object of the game. The object of the game is to learn to use your fears to motivate you to live a better, healthier, richer, more successful life – rather than allowing them to control you from their hiding place in your subconscious mind.

So next time you feel worried, anxious, paralyzed or stuck, take a time-out and ask yourself what you’re so afraid of. And then say to yourself, out loud or in your mind, “I have fear of _______.”

If you find a bunch of different fears, name each one of them. And notice I said “I have fear of ______” and not “I’m afraid of ______.” Because you are not your fear. In fact, many psychologists will tell you that the fears you claim as your own are actually fears you’ve inherited from your family and even from your caveman ancestors!

But that’s a subject for another blog. For today, make a list of the fears you find in your mind, and be willing to ask questions about them. Curiosity is a marvelous cure for most ordinary fears. And I bet you’ll find that just saying those fears out loud to yourself or writing them down on paper releases their grip on you enough to allow you to take some form of meaningful action towards your goals.

We’d love to hear what works for you in moving beyond fear. If you try the suggestions in this post – or if you have another idea – please leave a comment and share with our community.